Host: Andrew Crowe | Released Thursday, May 4, 2023
I. It’s not “Manly”
a. And a certain woman cast a piece of a millstone upon Abimelech’s head, and all to brake his skull. Then he called hastily unto the young man his armourbearer, and said unto him, Draw thy sword, and slay me, that men say not of me, A woman slew him. And his young man thrust him through, and he died. And when the men of Israel saw that Abimelech was dead, they departed every man unto his place. (Jdg 9:53-55)
b. Studies have shown that men experience emotions at the same level as women.
c. Does that mean the Christ wasn’t manly when He shed tears?
II. Feelings of Shame or Fear
a. This is connected to the first – There is a fear that showing emotions will cause others to think of them as less of a man.
b. Yet, we see Biblical men shedding tears without any shame. We still call them men.
III. The Hero Trope
a. If I’m not stoic and strong, I cannot fulfil the archetype of what a man should be.
b. Think of the movies where the men are the strong ones.
c. Yes, we are, to a degree, to be strong – but there are times when we will be weak.
IV. Familial Norms
a. Could be they were children of emotionally distant fathers.
b. We often end up emulating our parents more than we think.
V. Societal Norms
a. That’s why it’s called Normative Male Alexithymia.
b. Society can dictate what is thought of as right and wrong for men.
c. It can be viewed that emotions which are more aggressive are more acceptable for men.
VI. Hopefully, we can see that all of these are connected.
VII. Why should we change this?
a. Suppressing emotions can lead to major issues like depression and anxiety.
b. It can also increase risks of suicide (from American Foundation of Suicide Prevention; https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/).
i. The rate of suicide is highest in middle-aged white men.
ii. In 2020, men died by suicide 3.88x more than women.
