The New You 069: “The Home: Husbands”


Tuesday, August 12, 2014
“The Home: Husbands”





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Episode Transcript:

You’re listening to The New You, the daily broadcast for people who have been made new by the blood of Christ. I’m Robert Hatfield, and here is today’s Scripture:

Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them (Col. 3:19).

Author Fay Angus describes what she believes are the four D’s of marriage as depression, despair, drink, and divorce. It’s sad that some people view marriage this way. When we do things by God’s authority, then we will find marriage to be one of the greatest blessings of life.

Husbands: today we focus on what you need to do make your marriage great. God has big plans for you, and it’s time that we stop shirking our responsibilities to our heavenly Father, to our wives, and to our children.

You and I are familiar with the fact that the Bible commands the husbands to lead their households. However, if I were to look at the Scriptures that speak to husbands and summarize the role of a husband in one word, I would not choose the word “lead.” Instead, I would choose the word LOVE.

In Colossians 3:19, Paul says, “Husbands, love your wives…” In Ephesians 5:25, Paul says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” Notice that God’s love is the standard for the love that we are to have for our wives. This is a selfless, sacrificial love.

The husband should love his wife lest he become abusive toward her. It’s true that Ephesians 5:23 says that “the husband is the head of the wife.” He is to lead his family spiritually. Yet, he should not let this power to go his head. When love governs his authority in the home, then he will sacrifice for her, sympathize with her, and seek her welfare.

The end of Colossians 3:19 is interesting. Paul says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.” To “be bitter toward” the wife is the opposite of the original command: “love your wives.” This is intended to stop the harshness that some husbands may be tempted to use against their wives. Husbands, she is not your maid, and she certainly is not your slave. She is your loving companion, your suitable helper (Gen. 2), and she is deserving of your honor.

The wise man wrote, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD” (Prov. 18:22). Further, Peter exhorts us husbands to treat our wives with love and respect: “ Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Before leaving the topic of husbands as the leaders of the household, it’s important to note that the New Testament has a lot to say to fathers. For example, I find it interesting that in Colossians three, fathers are specifically addressed, while mothers aren’t mentioned. Fathers, you better listen up. “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (Col. 3:21). This verse is a parallel thought to Ephesians 6:4. Don’t exercise undue or harsh discipline. Anger engenders anger, so don’t cause your children to lack spirit or lose heart, that is, to be discouraged. Ephesians 6:4 states this verse in the positive: “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” That’s how you can avoid discouraging those children. Educate them in the way of the Lord. Fathers, notice that this education is directed at you, the leader of your home. Don’t shirk this responsibility.

Let’s wrap it up: Husbands and fathers, if we stepped up and fulfilled God’s commands for us, then we’d be half-way down the road to enjoying the beauty of marriage God’s way. Lead your home with that selfless, sacrificial love. Put others above yourself, and always put God first.

Memory Verse: This seems like an appropriate time to be reminded of this week’s memory verse. The first two verses of Psalm 1 point us in the right direction to get our homes on the right track.

Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night.  (Psa. 1:1-2).

Sometime today: Read Colossians 3:18, where the Holy Spirit gives commands for the wife’s role in the home. More on that tomorrow.


Thanks for joining today me on The New You. New episodes of this broadcast are released each weekday, Monday through Friday, from The Light Network. Archives of this program, episode transcripts, and more Christian podcasts are available there, too, at

I welcome your questions, comments, or suggestions for the show! My email address is and my voicemail number is 903-26-LIGHT, that’s 903-265-4448. I’d love to hear from you!

This is The New You, I’m Robert Hatfield, and I hope you have a great day!