The New You 116: “Guidelines for Husbands and Wives”


Friday, October 17, 2014
“Guidelines for Husbands and Wives”





Previous Episodes

Subscription Links

iTunes_Subscribe RSS_Subscribe

Ephesians 5 Chart:


Episode Transcript:

Today is October 17, 2014, and you’re listening to The New You, the daily broadcast for people who have been made new by the blood of Christ. Here is today’s Scripture:

This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband (Eph. 5:32-33).

This week, The New You has centered around Ephesians 5:22-33. We have noticed that what is discussed in this text is a picture of the way that marriage is supposed to be. The reason why we can say that so definitely is because this section of Ephesians five is actually about the relationship between Christ and the church (as I just read from Ephesians 5:32). From that relationship, a series of parallels are made to discuss the relationship between husbands and wives.

It is so important that you and I identify ourselves in this picture of a great marriage. As we think about our emphasis on domestic violence this month at The Light Network, I am reminded that abiding by the commands in Ephesians five will prevent my heart from being selfish and, thus, potentially becoming abusive.

So, today, we’re going to do something a little different from our normal format. I’m going to walk through Ephesians 5:22-33 and identify each time something is said to husbands or wives. As we go through the text, we’re interested in three questions: Who is this directed to? What are they to do? How are they to do it?

Here’s the breakdown of Ephesians 5:22-33.

Ephesians 5:22 says that wives (there’s the “who”) are to submit (“what”) to their husbands. How are they to do this? “As to the Lord” (Eph. 5:22). Submit as though you were submitting to Christ.

Next, look at Ephesians 5:23. The husband (“who”) is to be the head of the wife (there’s the “what”). How does he do this? “As Christ is the head of the church.”

Third, wives are addressed in Ephesians 5:24, so there’s our “who.” What are they to do? They are to be subject to their own husbands. How? “Just as the church is subject to Christ.”

Next, husbands are addressed in Ephesians 5:25. What are they to do? “Love your wives.” How? “Just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”

Fifth, we turn to Ephesians 5:28. Who is addressed? Husbands. What are they to do? It says that they “ought to love their own wives.” How? “As their own bodies.” Then, the parallel is made in verse twenty nine to Christ: “… just as the Lord does the church.”

Sixth, from Ephesians 5:33, we see the “who” – husbands. What are they to do? “Love his own wife.” How? The text points to the context as it says, “so love his own wife.” In other words, they are to love their wives as Christ loves the church (as we see from Eph. 5:32). Further, the husband is to love his wife “as himself” (Eph. 5:33).

Finally, wives are addressed at the end of Ephesians 5:33. “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.” So what is she to do? She is to respect her husband.

Let’s wrap it up: It’s interesting to me that the husband’s headship is addressed only once in these admonitions. It is further interesting that the husband is admonished three times to love her (Eph. 5:25, 28, 33). Also, it is interesting that the wife’s submission is addressed twice (Eph. 5:22, 24), and the respect that she will have for her godly husband is mentioned there at the end of verse thirty three.

May we take this pattern and apply it to ourselves. Resist the temptation to point the finger at your spouse, surfacing all of the ways that they do it wrong. No, don’t do that. Instead, take Ephesians 5:22-33 introspectively. “Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith” (2 Cor. 13:5).

Further, use this pattern to prevent domestic violence and abuse in your marriage. Be sure that you remember that loving, nourishing, cherishing relationship that Christ has for His bride, the church.

Thank God for your marriage. Glorify God in your marriage.

If you’re interested a visual representation of this data that I presented from Ephesians 5:22-33, I have a chart with each verse, accompanied by the appropriate who, what, and how for husbands and wives. Check it out at

Memory Verse: If you’ve been with us every day this week, then you probably know Psalm 34:18 by now. This one is an easy one to memorize, as it is only two lines! Let’s review it one more time together:

The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart,

And saves such as have a contrite spirit (Psa. 34:18).

The New You 10 Week Challenge for a Better Internet! Let’s work together to make the Internet a better place. Each week, I’ll give you a challenge, and I want to encourage you to take to social media with that challenge, followed by the hashtag #NewYouChallenge.

This week I want us to answer this question: What is your favorite aspect of the Lord’s church? So head over to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the like and compose a post which says, “My favorite thing about the church is _____. #NewYouChallenge” This is week 3 of the 10 week challenge for a better Internet!

Over the weekend: Be sure to worship God on Sunday, the Lord’s day. Assemble with God’s people in your area and worship Him in Spirit and in truth (John 4:24). Need help locating a place to worship? Check out the interactive map (available from our friends at In Search of the Lord’s Way) that will help you find a congregation of God’s people in your area! Just go to


Thanks for joining today me on The New You. New episodes of this broadcast are released each weekday, Monday through Friday, from The Light Network. Archives of this program, episode transcripts, and more Christian podcasts are available there, too, at

To find out more about The Light Network’s campaign to raise awareness about domestic violence, visit

I welcome your questions, comments, or suggestions for the show! My email address is and my voicemail number is 903-26-LIGHT, that’s 903-265-4448. I’d love to hear from you!

This is The New You, I’m Robert Hatfield, and I hope you have a great day!